POLITICAL TREATS

ARSEHOLE ANDREW MITCHELL

What on earth did you think you were doing, Andrew Mitchell, suing the Sun, Rupert Murdoch’s daily yob sheet for libel with the police thrown in for good measure. Didn’t you know that Murdoch, his newspaper and the police all sing from the same hymn sheet. After all it was the goodly Rupert who used the police to attack and break up the picket lines of striking print workers when he moved his newspapers to Wapping? Indeed, their collaboration began back in the days of Margaret Thatcher whose best friends were first and foremost the police along with Rupert himself whose Sun always shone bright for the Tories. Surely you knew they were all nicely connected? I mean what’s going on here? You a leading Tory… having a go Murdoch’s media and the State force of violence into the bargain? Bloody hell Andrew, are you some kind of political virgin or something?

I mean there you are, suing the Sun for libel over a trivial difference you had with the busies and expecting one of the State’s pillars of Criminal Justice to dole out tea and sympathy! Judges simply don’t do that kind of thing where the police are concerned. Quite frankly I am hard put to it to get my head round your political naivety. Didn’t you know that the police and the judiciary are one and the same thing. That they operate on the same continuum as it were. At one end the violence and menaces mob who line up various candidates from the sick and the stupid to those with a zany concern for justice and truth for the judiciary at the other to sink their teeth into. Both aspects of enforcement an integral part of State power. Initially organised by the politicians, managed by the police, and scrutinized by old men in wigs, some of whom it is said wear ladies knickers, stockings and suspender belts in private. And it is the latter, Mr Mitchell, upon whom you relied for some kind of justice.

Well I really do have to ask, from my lowly position as a journalist, someone who believes absolutely in truth and justice and could therefore never get a job on a newspaper… did you really think you could take on the nasty end of the British Establishment and win? Have you completely gone out of your head?

CALAMITY GORDON

So Gordon Brown has announced that he’s not standing as a Labour MP in Scotland in the General Election of  2015. The news must gladden the hearts of millions. After all, the man himself has caused more damage to the wellbeing of the British people in recent times than Herman Goering and his Luftwaffe. His policies, resulting in the unleashing of a gang of criminal bankers and speculators on the working people of this country caused tremendous damage and harm from widespread unemployment, poverty and impoverishment  to a still current ongoing attack on the living standards of many millions. Endlessly rising prices, endlessly diminishing living standards and the quality of life, hard times for British Universities and rough times of hardship for students. Worst of all perhaps, he was responsible for a widespread attack on all those hardworking men and women who had saved for their retirement, hoping for a little security from the money they’d so carefully put by only to find that the banks and other financial institutions who’d ripped off the country for hundreds of billions were no longer paying any real interest on their money. Just taking it and loaning it out at high rates of interest while paying those savers just about nothing.

Such outrageous practices continue with no individual banker prosecuted to date! Indeed they are well protected by their good friends in Government the Liberal Democrats.

Am I sorry that vile piece of work is retiring from British politics soon? Well it seems that many leading Conservatives are! As for myself, this man single handedly damaged and ruined the lives of too many people. There’s no getting away from it. That’s what he actually did and the harm this man wrought simply can’t be undone. But never mind, on retirement he’ll no doubt find himself a seriously high paying job giving him as much kudos as possible, making him think that he’s really doing something worthwhile. Because, you see, he’s never for one minute thought that as a politician he’s never been anything else but a really great guy and that everyone loves him. He’s someone who’s never actually had the ability to hear the voices of others. Only his own. He has no idea of the damage and misery he’s caused because he’s unable to see or understand anything outside his own fantasy.

And that’s the man who became a British Prime Minister. The mumbling grumbling Dark Gordon Brown who called an old lady a bigot!. Hey, but wait! Don’t listen to me! Listen to the people who really count. The Milipede has described him as “a towering figure,” while Tory Prime Minister David Cameron has said that he had “given a huge amount to public life.” Quite frankly such adulation confronts me with a serious question. Am I living on another planet to these people. Maybe! They’re living on Planet Westminster… You know, the kind of place where all the main Parties say much the same thing while pretending to be different then get together to rob people. Allow large companies to get away with taxation blue murder while fiddling their own personal expenses at the expense of ordinary taxpayers. That’s Planet Politics where rascals scratch each other’s backs. That’s why the Milipede described Calamity Gordon as a towering figure rather than a bloody catastrophe for the British people. Well creepy Ed, if you really, actually think that this person, knowing the disastrous economic mess he created, is actually a towering figure, then either you’re just a plain liar or you’re offensively stupid. Alternatively, maybe you really do think he is, in which case you’re just plain blind to the suffering of millions of British people or else you simply don’t care about it. In which case what are you doing in the Labour Party in the first place.

DAVID MELLOR: THE MAN WITH THE MOUTH

He’s had the little problem for a long time. I mean being a one-time Tory politician who can’t help shooting his mouth off. And yes he’s been at it again! After most memorably publically showing off his Chelsea credentials with a starlet, this sawn off Boot Boy demonstrated his verbal credentials when as a Tory Office Foreign Minister he laid into a senior member of the Israeli military, lambasting him with false accusations of harsh treatment of Palestinians. His latest round of being unable to keep his mouth shut occurred only recently when, having downed a serious skinful, he got into a London black cab and proceeded to give the driver directions about his route home.

With many years’ experience behind the wheel the driver wasn’t having any of it so the ex-Tory jack-the-lad decided to put him in his place by telling him exactly who he was and impress him with all the terribly important things he’d done in his life! So puffing himself up proceeded to give him the full itinerary! Taking in Mellor’s boozy demeanor the driver remained unimpressed but nonetheless decided to record his passenger’s obnoxious rant. The result is history. Full coverage in the media and the mouthy radio presenter coming across like an obnoxious bullying oaf for which, given the wide and seriously unpleasant publicity, he was forced to make a public apology which was both fulsome, unreserved and generous with a financial donation to the cab drivers association. Nice one David, for giving the public the opportunity to see what kind of person you are, both the foolish and the good.   

There’s a well-known phrase for this kind of thing which politicians of any intelligence should be aware of.  It’s called shooting yourself in the foot, only Mellor wasn’t exactly stone cold sober and once again lost his rag! So go to the back of the class and join all the other arrogant political jerk-offs you find there who think they’re superior to everyone else when they’re tanked up. And whenever you’re ready to repeat the performance just stop and think for a moment and remember that in the great scheme of things you’re just about nothing, same as everyone else. So please, don’t go getting any ideas that you’re some great gift to mankind which you’re most certainly not and get yourself a little humility instead. Then maybe you’ll grow up.

NICK CLEGG: A MAN LOOKING FOR LOVE!  

If ever there was a British politician in the early 21^st century wanting to be loved it’s the leader of the politically fast disappearing and on their way out Liberal Democrats. It’s possible to tell by the permanent hang dog look on his face but more than anything else it’s the desperate way he’s currently in search of publicity and right now just about any photo opportunity will do. Give him a chance and he’s out there, I mean just about anywhere all dolled up and smart in a suit coming over with all the good stuff that he and his Party have done, joke-joke, in their Coalition Government with the Tories over the last four years. Anything with a whiff of environment or a touch of the greens and yes, the Lib-Dems were out there fighting the nation’s corner for a healthier, better lifestyle! True, all the guff about promising to curb smelly banking practices and the giant bonuses of the financial jerksters is all but forgotten, same as doing anything about the diabolical price rises of the energy sharks. That’s gone out the window with Business Secretary Vince Cable all but gone into hiding. These days it’s anything environmental like roads. Cleaner, healthier road building and all the money that he and his colleagues in Coalition are squeezing out of George Osborne’s Treasury to give us new cone free roads.

To this effect the unloved Clegg appears in what he thinks is a major photo opportunity of the times. That of appearing in a nice blue suit and orange tie swanning around Stonehenge! No, it’s not some kind of joke. He’s there among the stones giving out with the importance of getting rid of a nearby road that’s a wee bit too close to a national treasure and major tourist destination and replacing it with some kind of landscaped tunnel a few miles away so none of the Chinese tourists will see any cars racing across Salisbury Plain. Yes, and he was responsible, the one and only caring-sharing Nick Clegg, for this major contribution to everyone’s happiness and wellbeing! Never mind that his good friend Ed Davey, Lib-Dem Secretary of State for Energy has long been in cahoots with the Big Six energy supplies during which time prices have rocketed out of control. Never mind such trivial stuff! What matters is some poxy little road near Stonehenge that he’s waving away with his mighty hand to bring us all happiness for which he’s playing photo opportunity with all the carefully primed up television cameras who just so happen to be there!

Yes, here I am, Nick Clegg, hand on heart for the national welfare and wanting a little something in return like your love and respect and your vote come the next General Election. And please, give me a few more Stonehenge opportunities to show you what a good guy I am.

Just one little problem. No-one believes you and all that guff anymore. This posing around for goody-goody publicity is no different to all the rest of your miserable opportunism and years of going along with the Tories, sitting on George Osborne’s shoulder and playing make believe that you and your band of third rate vaudeville actors were major political players when all you’ve really been cutting are comedy capers.

Playing the Great Pretender! The one and only Nick Clegg!

Oh yes, I’m the Great Pretender… Pretending that I’m doing well… I seem, to be, what I’m not, you see… I’m wearing my heart like a Clown… Pretending that you’re (the British electorate) still around!

DAVID CAMERON: HERO OF MASS IMMIGRATION

It’s getting difficult these days to know who’s more full of bluster and bullshit, Boris Johnson or David Cameron. The first has always put about a blustering image and remarkably successful he’s been with it, strutting his Etonian public school waffle like an over-blond rag doll. David Cameron on the other hand has had a much tougher time strutting his porkies, making a serious mess of Britain’s EU membership, alienating many of his own MP’s and losing ground to the Demon in the Dark, Nigel Farage. However it’s nothing compared to being caught with his pants off over the issue of immigration. Having promised to reduce this below 100,000 a year for 2013-14 we now have a figure close to three times as much. Some say he lied. Others that he found it impossible to achieve.

The current figure of 286,000 is interesting containing a large number of migrants from outside the EU such as Africa and southeast Asia. It used to be said by those only too ready and willing to justify such an influx that most were escaping some form of persecution or other! That they were all victims and that was good enough! What all of them? That was a time when most of the chatter was about economic migrants. People who came here for purely economic reasons. They were the baddies. Now however, with two million Poles  living in Britain, economic migration has become a quite okay thing and there are countless individuals all ready to jump up on cue and tell us all that they’re all worth their weight in gold!

It’s therefore just a plain fact. Whatever way David Cameron squirms around making excuses or trying to explain reasons for the ever increasing inward flow, he has no answers and either makes promises he cannot fulfill or has no intention of keeping. Either way he’s lying to the British people. Lying and for very good reason. Immigration needs to be considered from a much broader context than numbers. No matter all the pathetic misguided views of countless liberal detractors there is only one viable reason for Governments throughout western Europe to pursue policies of unlimited immigration and that is to bring down the cost of labour. This they see as essential in order to compete with labour costs in Asia and elsewhere. Put simply it has meant creating a reserve army of labour in each of the industrial nations of Europe. And where the EU is concerned it means transferring cheap labour from east to west.

This so called mobility of labour is an essential principle upon which the EU rests, but it has never been something applicable to everyone. Those who run the EU are coy enough about the so called free movement of labour but what it actually means is the movement of cheap labour from one corner of the EU to another. Say from Poland, Rumania and Bulgaria in the east to Germany, France and Britain in the west. This affects and involves the British Prime Minister as much as it does the German Chancellor. Both need cheap labour for their domestic production; home consumption and exports. David Cameron needs it because British business and manufacturing need it. All talk of immigration control into Britain and the complexities of Britain’s membership of the EU in consequence is therefore misleading. Immigration is an economic issue that has serious cultural and therefore political ramifications as we now see ever too clearly with Cameron and his Party looking over their shoulder at UKIP.

David Cameron is torn more than two ways over immigration. His Party won’t leave him alone; UKIP won’t leave him alone; the countries of eastern Europe with EU membership won’t leave him alone and the leaders of western Europe won’t leave him alone either. And worst of all the British electorate won’t leave him alone! They want action to curtail it. They want any promises made to be promises kept and a failure to do so will have serious political consequences.

They want answers and action that poor David Cameron cannot supply. Only squirm around with conjuring tricks of the verbal kind while he walks a greasy political tightrope, knowing that Boris Johnson is waiting in the Library with a Dagger!