A Conspiracy of Trash

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Sunday, 11 May 2014

THE EURO-SICKENER SONG CONTEST OF 2014

Right, are you ready to puke? Well here goes! This year’s Eurovision Song Contest was clearly taken over by the gay community of Copenhagen with the vast majority of the audience clearly gay men. Indeed it could be argued that the contest was taken over across Europe by the gay and transvestite community because the clear winner was an Austrian transvestite Drag Queen with a beard made up in every way to look a woman with the name of Conchita. His song, or was it hers, Rise Like a Phoenix, wasn’t the best on offer but it was certainly the most sexually political and drew huge support across Europe.

Her appearance wasn’t really attractive at all. There was something deeply ambiguous, even repulsive, about a good looking woman with a beard but then she wasn’t a woman, just a man pretending to be one. In her victory speech Conchita claimed she’d won for all those who’d experienced discrimination! What Conchita?

Do you mean the vast majority of straight men as well who experienced your offering? True, no-one forced them to. They could have switched off! However my dear it wasn’t only your appearance and performance that was puke-worthy. That was only a small part of the overall offering last night. What I’m referring to was the whole wretched character of this pan-European pantomime of flashing lights, untalented pretty-boy dummies, ghastly lyrics and titty girls who pranced on stage like jerky puppets for their countries.

Transvestites and gays apart, the whole thing was camp to the n’th degree. A riot of glitzy outrageous camp that perfectly suited the vast, showy, out of the closet, supposedly liberated gay community of Europe who believes itself to be liberated, whatever that means. But in sober judgement, what it may in fact mean is that they are liberated from everything except their own prejudices and feel themselves to be free to be prejudiced against all those who do not share the same values. There was much the same awfulness about this year’s contest as there’s been in others before. It’s only the character that’s changed and from what was so visible from the Copenhagen audience it had indeed become a gay event.

The comments I immediately wrote down about some of the performances might prove interesting.

Montenegro

A female ice skater showing superb form under an extra-short skirt and lyrics that meant nothing to anyone else in Europe sung by a very respectable pop group.

Poland

Quaint girls in short national costume shouting incomprehensible words in a ludicrous language with agricultural motifs of cows and milk. Girls with big titties suggestively and erotically milking and churning! All done in best tart style.

Greece

Jumping pretty-boys twirling to a catchy tune and strutting around like tarts singing a lyric rap-style.

Austria

Drag act. Girl with beard. Nauseous appearance and song. Song of transsexual character cheered by most gay male audience. Performer sickening in appearance to my wife.

Germany

Female group. Catchy tune.

Sweden

Song, Undo, sung by prosaic blonde. Passionate face movement entirely artificial.

France

Catchy lively number sung by springy dancing male group strangely dressed. Good rhythm, zany silly performance. Typically zany-French.

Russia

Song, Shine, sung in English. Superb sky, cloud and stars lumination graphics. Lyrics unclear. Group endlessly booed by Copenhagen audience in clear disapproval of Russia’s perceived anti-gay policies.

Italy

Frenetic performance in Italian by female vocalist. Male group actively aggravating. Singer ends up lying on the floor shaking her legs.

Slovenia

Song entitled Round and Round. Female flautist singing in Slovenian, or was it English? Sounded horrible. The ultimate torture for Nigel Farage, being forced to listen to the Eurovision Song Contest!

Finland

Pretty-Boy band in silver jackets. Manic beat. Breakneck delivery of vocal. Endlessly blinding flashlights. A stupendous cacophony.

Spain

Dancing in the Rain. In Spanish. All in heavy simulated rain. Manically sung vocal. Facial movement of performer overtly sexual. 90% percent of words were dancing in the rain!

Hungary

Ghastly lyrics in English. Auto-erotic male-female performance. All seemed mighty peculiar.

San Marino

Maybe. Dreadful lyrics. Shouted rather than sung. A kind of nothing performance.

United Kingdom

Children of the Universe sung by Molly. Singing voice awful. Lyrics shouted. Some of the words such as a continual power to the people some kind of joke or so it seemed. Singer’s face ugly. Title words endlessly sung along with power to the people as a kind of ultra-silly radical refrain.

My final comment when all the performances were over would most definitely not have been in keeping with the sentiments of the audience… We want to see more of  those dirty cock-sucking Polish milk-maids.
 

And while we waited for the results from the voters of Europe our Danish hosts thought they would give us a real treat, a tour proudly given of Copenhagen’s European Song Contest Museum. This was something so utterly cringe making, so pathetic that it would have definitely given Nigel Farage heart failure had he witnessed its exhibits! A forced tour of this hateful memorial to a hateful institution that could only be constructed in Denmark! You know, the place where they kill giraffes in their zoos!

 

Finally as a spectacle it was once again worth watching for its sheer unmitigated awfulness. For men, to catch side of fleshy good looking girls. For gays, to take in the twirly pretty-boys. And for the British compere Graham Norton to give the audience here in Britain a long cynical laugh.

 

Europe, we like you on television three hours a year but apart from that you can stick it. That is, apart from those Polish milk-maids.

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