A Conspiracy of Trash

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Friday, 20 September 2013

PROMISES AND LIES: THE LIB-DEM PARTY CONFERENCE

Anyone British with any sense of decency and political cleanliness, perhaps cleanliness in general, knows that a Liberal-Democrat Party Conference has just taken place. That’s because anyone watching their antics on television or reading about it in the news media suddenly feels intruded upon, even invaded, by a nasty coating of slime. There’s something genuinely distasteful, oily and slimy if you will, about their entirely opportunistic political conduct. They have no shame at all about what they stand for. They want to be something for everyone. Their beloved leader has spoken! Their aim is to stand at the Centre Ground of British politics. Neither one thing or another… but somewhere in between! Like political whores for all seasons. A bit of castigation for their Tory Coalition partners, a bit of stick for New Labour, they’re already laying down terms for pimping themselves out to whichever of the two main parties wins the next General Election.

That way you see, they can’t have any real political policies of their own right now. Nothing important they can stand up for. Just a bit of political tinkering here and there because if they come out with anything important that favours one side or another they could find themselves on the loser’s side and have no political power. A bit like the student tuition fees fiasco which they had to drop in order to get into bed with the Tories last time round! So while they’re playing for time it doesn’t do them any good to stand for anything important! It’s as plain as the nose on your face. This gang of eager to please political rascals are slimy opportunists whose only trumpeted claim is that they’ll steer any side they support back to the middle ground where nothing important ever gets done. Yes, yes, they want to stand for people everywhere, joke-joke, only the reality of their short time in office has been quite different. During their spell of being tucked up with Cameron they’ve totally ditched everything they once claimed to believe. Remember how it was before the last General Election? How they’d wanted to clean up the banks and rotten practices of the financial services industry? Vince Cable going on about it all the time to make them look honest, decent and radical. Something they knew would please the general public. So what actually happened to any of that? These days, banking practices and the bonus culture are just as slimy as they were then, never mind all the Liberal Democrat chatter.

Talk about making a difference? Talk about steering the Tories into the Centre Ground? It’s all lies and they know it, but let’s get one thing clear. These people are not simply political whores. Their up for it opportunism is so horribly evident and so in your face that whatever political street corner they’re standing on you know they’re up for the game. Trouble is, most people have had a fair taste of them now and because they look older the make-up of lies has to get thicker. Hence the need to please everyone and the media opportunity to do it is through their annual Conference. This time round however they’ve had to work a lot harder to sell themselves. Be something that everyone wants, like some worn out old tart who’s been sussed.

Indeed, with their beloved leader’s popularity rating running close to that of Robert Mugabe and the Party itself close to free-fall, they’ve been desperately trying to come up with ways of rejuvenating their image and if Botox or Viagra won’t do, it might have to be just about anything! Anyone up for a session in bed with the Liberal Democrats? Poor dears, they’re working so hard to sell themselves. Promises of free school meals for your kids… Promises of cheap housing for all… Upping the Minimum Wage… Promises of political cleanliness and decency…  Only it comes with an unsaid political warning. Back in power with ANYONE out it all goes with the knickers.  

Remember their righteous attack on MP’s expenses? How they’d reform the whole system? Nothing done since they came into Government. Remember their zealous pre-election indignation about energy prices? Well since Ed Davey took over the energy portfolio, prices have never stopped rising and executives from the big five energy companies are now ‘helping out’ sic, in his Department, doing exactly what you may ask? Remember all the talk about reforming the electoral system and making it fairer? Well their Tory Coalition partners just wouldn’t have it and told them in no uncertain terms where to get off! Furthermore, what have the Liberal Democrats done to curb all the Tory excesses of welfare benefit cuts? In a word, nothing. They’ve gone along with the whole attack on the Welfare State and the poor, almost like the whole party climbed into the pocket of the Daily Mail. No wonder some of their young Members of Parliament are leaving. Said that they want nothing to do with them anymore!

As Boris Johnson has pointed out, the colour of the Liberal Democrats is yellow. But then the Party is yellow in every sense. Too opportunistic to have any real political values and with no chance of governing the country anyway, they’ve come out at Conference as standing for a bit of everything! Bits of green stuck in here and there to please the Environmentalists and bits of pink to ingratiate themselves with what’s left of Labour. Well actually there’s nothing ‘left’ at all about Miliband’s Labour. They’ve also ditched any values they had because they want to be in the ‘Centre Ground’, but then it’s not too hard to understand. No MP’s in either Party have done a day’s work down a mine or worked out at sea on a trawler. Both Party leaders went to elite schools and their Cabinet or Shadow Cabinet members have spent most of their lives earning serious money keeping chairs warm. Part of what they call a day’s work involves swilling coffee, and occasionally enjoying a bit of chit chat with their constituents. Apart from that they’re all on the gravy train and the Chardonnay Circuit and what they’ve really been doing is figuring out ways to resolve the financial crisis caused by the wealthy, the greedy and the deceitful in the financial services industry by making those who work to bring food, light and warmth to your home like the fishermen, the oil workers and the miners pay for it!

So what kind of cheer do the Liberal Democrats bring to your home then? Oh sorry, I forgot. They’ll all be working hard to clear up the financial crisis! Oh goody gumdrops! Well actually I don’t see any hand ever coming out of their pockets unless it’s to pick up a cheque for expenses, but never mind, they’re still working hard for us all they assure us! Well honestly, does Nick Clegg and his slimy gang of political rascals really think anyone believes all that stuff anymore. British people well know that THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE EATING. Firstly they made important promises before the election then  dropped them to get into Government. Secondly they did little to nothing to challenge their Tory partners about anything really important when it counted. Looking back on the whole Liberal Democrat pre-election political standpoint it was all smoke and mirrors. One leader followed another down the drain in quick succession over women and booze and no-one really knew what any of them stood for. They were a kind of manufactured media image. A kind of left leaning composite that could be brought out whenever it suited the newspaper bosses. In truth they never actually ever stood for anything solid. There was no organic connection either with working people or industrial capitalists. Neither on one side or the other but something Christ knows what in between. All smoke and mirrors… All smiles and chit chat… And there’s the wonder of it all! With that kind of shit going for them they wound up in Government. Well how did that happen you might ask?

Well it did, because they clearly played you for mugs. They made promises, dropped them flat at the first opportunity and went for the money. And now they want you to trust them again!

Don’t you see, we’ve only been there a short time and we need you to help us stop any mad Tory or Labour excesses so please trust us all over again…

It’s my view that there are only two ways of understanding Liberal Democrats in Government. Either they are political opportunists of the worst possible kind, political whores if you like… or they are genuinely deluded. Believing that by their actions they can actually make things better, in which case we really have what may best be described as a ‘medical’ condition. A group of people who are so disturbed that they need medical treatment. Maybe some kind of psychological counseling. For people who are so deluded, so far out of touch with reality, the best kind of remedy is often hospital treatment. The important question however is this, who are the really sick people here? Is it the Liberal Democrats, or is it the people who’ll vote for them at the next General Election?

And if you want to pursue this kind of theme then it goes something like this. What kind of people is it these days who are willing to put their trust in known political liars? In other words, who is it who’s living in a political madhouse? Is it them or is it us? Are the Liberal Democrats on the outside, living in a world of slimy reality looking in on us poor deluded souls living in some kind of political asylum, or are we living in the real world looking in on them? So you see, it’s all very simple. Either the Liberal Democrats are genuine rascals of the very worst kind or they’re all living in some dark nightmare world where they think they’re terribly important. It can only be one of the two… or can it? Maybe it’s us who are living in the dark nightmare world with the Liberal Democrat goblins whispering into our ears that all will be well if we love them… And once we do and give them the power they crave they’ll stick a spike up our arse! 

Just like something out of Hieronymus Bosch!   

It’s your choice then. Do you want Nick Clegg to take you by the hand and lead you up a rat’s arse, or do you want to sit in a crocus and cuddle with a monkey who looks remarkably like Ed Miliband? Or maybe float across a pond of urine on the back of scarecrow with George Osborne for company?

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