CRYSTALS AND POLITICS : THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY AND THE RISE OF THE CRYSTAL HEALING PARTY

Over the last decade ever increasing numbers of women have been turning to crystals and crystal healing as a means for reducing tension, easing stress, to help them relax and to help them find meaning. Even to help them find love. Somehow the idea that crystals can replace many of the traditional avenues that brought personal fulfillment, emotional satisfaction, comfort and human warmth has taken hold and gained ground in the psyche of women who feel that their lives are running by empty, without purpose, without warmth and without satisfaction. For most, the solace and assurances that religion once provided has in recent decades finally come up smelling of nothing. Likewise the assurances and promise of politicians as a means for change and better times has been exposed as a fraud. Men have their football, their tattoos and their booze; and their women often feel ‘taken for granted’. Whatever this well-known phrase actually means, what it actually covers, is a whole world of complaint. Men more often than not aren’t into crystals but women are! So what’s going on here?

Religion on its way out, except for the Muslims who want to bomb or convert everyone else. Unless you’re over sixty and desperate, the dummies in dog collars have little that’s new to say to anybody except the same old message seasonally dragged out of its coffin and freshed up with oil of Ulay. Yeah, yeah… everyone knows. He died for us all so put it back in its box. That’s not blasphemy, it’s part of the new social, economic and political reality supplied by Gordon Brown and the financial swindlers of the City of London. And now the Liberal Democrats have been spewing the same dirt and chewing the same cud with the Tories while pretending they’re virgins, in Government for the first time and still learning to open their legs.

Women turning to crystals? In the last week we’ve heard from the Liberal Democrat cheesies, the UKIP nasties and what used to be Labour, and soon we’ll be hearing from the dag-arsed Tories. But wait, let’s stop and dwell for a moment about what any decent, intelligent woman might have made of it so far. And I’ll try to be brief.  

So what do you get from Nick Clegg that will make you turn away from the promise of crystals and the healing balm of Rose Quartz. I suppose it’s all spoiled in the first place because we all know that the Lib-Dems are a bunch of plain liars. But just let me add a couple more things to help you want to go out and buy crystals. Talk about quartz crystals giving you ‘energy’, Ed Davey, the Lib-Dem Secretary of State for Energy was a very quiet man at Conference and for good reason. While he’s been on the job the suspicion has grown that the big six energy suppliers have got together to form a price fixing cartel. Many of their executives now work within his Department but nobody quite knows what they’re doing there! Furthermore, a major report about price fixing in the Energy Market due to be released some time back seems to have disappeared! What we do know however is this. Energy prices on the wholesale market from the producers to the suppliers have fallen by some 30% in the last two years only none of it has been passed on to domestic users! Instead, prices of gas and electricity to domestic consumers from the time the Lib Dems took over at Energy have risen by some 20%. No wonder so many women are turning to crystals for a source of energy when they can’t get it cheap from the Lib-Dems in Coalition running the show.

In his Conference speech Nick Clegg told the big lie that his Party had effectively checked Tory Party excesses. For years the Lib-Dems made a big splash in the media that they were against excessive bankers bonuses in the Financial Services Industry and would determine the direction the Government took in the matter. Now as we see in the news, the Tory-Lib Dem Coalition Government is taking the European Commission to Court over its recent legislation, supported by every nation in the EC except Britain, to curb bankers bonuses. Effectively, the only Government in Europe against it is the Tory-Lib Dem Coalition. Little wonder that most women would rather rub a crystal than rub shoulders with a rascal like Clegg!

And now UKIP! For one thing women don’t like being called sluts, Mr Farage, and your intention of putting our system of criminal justice into the hands of the police is equally nasty. To make the police responsible for deciding who is or is not to be prosecuted under the law is to forget the ghastly things they’ve been up to in recent times. The shootings, the beatings, the deaths in custody, the manipulation, manufacture and falsification of evidence and the countless miscarriages of justice for which they were responsible… Never mind Europe! Your domestic policies here at home are as reactionary as your attitudes to women. It’s easy to talk about replacing the Lib-Dems as Britain’s third largest Party in coming elections when you know they’re a pushover anyway. They may be liars but your gang are as equally unsavory and no substitute for the solace of Rose Quartz or the balancing qualities of Bloodstone. The mirror of British politics may be cracked but people still won’t go for a mob who are quite frankly politically crackers unless of course the entire population’s from Essex.

As for the Labour Party Conference, Ed Miliband it seems has acquitted himself admirably. Not long ago he showed character and courage by being instrumental in refusing to take the British people into a War with Syria. At the Conference he spoke for millions of ordinary people by standing up to the Energy Suppliers’ Cartel and announcing a Labour Government, if elected in 2015, would freeze energy prices for 2 or more years. He well knows what these rascals are doing. Endlessly raising prices to domestic consumers while wholesale prices are falling and passing their vast profits to shareholders who rake in the cash on the backs of the poor.

So what kind of people are they who run the Energy Companies? Within hours of Miliband’s speech they were threatening cuts in energy supplies if a Miliband Labour Government cut their prices. A cut in energy supplies? A power blackout? Now what does such a threat actually mean? I’ll tell you. It means cutting the supply of power for cooking, heating and lighting, and the use of water and toilet facilities to tens of millions of people, many of them elderly and sick. It means cutting the supply of heating and lighting to hospitals. WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS IS HOLDING THE PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY TO RANSOM! 

WHAT SUCH A THREAT ACTUALLY MEANS IS THAT THESE PEOPLE CLEARLY CARE MORE ABOUT THE INTERESTS OF THEIR SHAREHOLDERS THAN THE PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY AND ARE THEREFORE MORALLY UNFIT TO RUN THEIR INDUSTRY.

NOW OF COURSE IF TRADES UNIONS ACTED TOGETHER IN A STRIKE THE TORY PRESS WOULD SAY THEY WERE HOLDING THE COUNTRY TO RANSOM AND TELL CAMERON TO CALL OUT THE TROOPS! BUT SO FAR, NO A WORD ABOUT THE FAR MORE SERIOUS THREAT FROM THEIR FRIENDS RUNNING THE ENERGY SUPPLY INDUSTRY!

In the hours after Miliband’s announcement the news media were on the rush on behalf of the Energy Companies to call him Red Ed. It’s the usual kind of slur they reserve for any politician who says anything ‘left’ of Margaret Thatcher, particularly the ex-Nazi friendly Daily Mail! Firstly what Miliband said was neither socialist nor ‘red’. Socialist would have been a message to the Energy Cartel… LOWER YOUR PRICES AND STOP BEING HATEFUL TO YOUR CUSTOMERS OR WE’LL NATIONALISE YOU WITHOUT COMPENSATION! But Ed Miliband’s a Social Democrat not a Socialist and the Labour Party today, such as it is, is the Party of people like Peter Mandelson who only days later publically urged his Party leader to be cautious.  

However Miliband’s announcement was something important. And as equally important perhaps was to see the decent, warm, caring working class women who’ve worked in the social services of this country most of their lives, speaking out against the attacks made on the NHS, the Welfare State and its Social Services and care provisions by the Tories and their Liberal Democrat allies in Government. And likewise the caring responsible and humane interest and concern of Trades Unionists about the pensions of workers rather than concerns to protect Executive Bonuses by Vince Cable and the Liberal Democrats.

Here, briefly in front of our eyes, we had those who were GOOD standing out against those who were BAD and others like UKIP who were frankly plain UGLY.

However in defence of Cameron’s Tories, it should be said that these people are not bad or evil. They are who they are. They care about the City Speculators, they want to break up and destroy our Welfare State and likewise our National Health Service which they want to turn over to greedy money-makers. In their own eyes they’re fine. They regard financial speculators and company executives as creators of wealth. These are the people they care about, not working people who make things. Tories are Tories, it’s the Liberal Democrats who are BAD. They tell lies and are endlessly scheming for power.

UKIP on the other hand are simply plain UGLY so let’s look at their affinity for crystals and crystal healing. Okay, can you imagine anyone in UKIP, men or women, being into crystals. Firstly can you imagine Nigel Farage wearing a Quartz crystal pendant or Godfrey Bloom one of Rose Quartz? What beer swilling healthy male member of UKIP could ever believe that crystals would help him get rid of Europe? UKIP women, on the other hand all look as if they need solace, but not from crystals. It’s the warm hand of paternalistic companionship they seek, the traditional values of pipe smoking Britishness, not any New Age liberal-type values. For members of UKIP crystals and the old style of Britishness don’t go. Crystals are ‘European’, they’re an unzip-a-banana kind of Frenchiness leeching out to corrupt plain British common sense values. Call us UGLY if you like but we want to be British and we don’t want your softy healing shit!

Okay, how about crystals and the Tories? For Tory male Parliamentarians, members of the Party or most of their voters, many with compulsory tattoos and aggressive bull terriers, crystals and crystal healing aren’t on. For those with the Essexite mentality in particular, it’s the stuff that pansies are made of, and can you imagine any of the Tory Front Bench wearing crystals in public let alone Chris Grayling believing in healing! For middle class Tory women on the other hand, a little Rose Quartz or Amethyst crystal set in silver on a silver chain as a gift from their husband is at least a possibility. Forget the healing side of it though. It’s got to be decorative, charming. Just a touch of the ‘liberal-Camerons’ if you will revealing the softer side of Toryism! Definitely not for lower middle class women who prefer a Rose somewhere else. Generally speaking crystals and Tories don’t go, and crystal healing and Tories definitely don’t go. The healing side of it smells of spirituality, of aspects of the soul, and if they need that kind of thing they’ll chat to the vicar.

Let’s move on to Liberal Democrats! Okay, Simon Hughes wearing a crystal, or Vince Cable checking up on his chakras? Really! When Liberal Democrats aren’t scheming or lying or deluding themselves are they really likely to walk around wearing Quartz Crystals hoping to boost their energy levels. Or if it’s Rose Quartz hoping to spread love. No, their faith is entirely political. A sure belief that they’re doing an important job keeping their Tory partners in check. A political faith that everyone in the country will love them because they’re honorable! That they’re doing what’s right for the country, joke, joke! Why should they need any healing when they’re continually being healed by their own political self-righteousness? Okay, you might get some forthright Lib-Dem lady wearing a bit of ‘Rosy’ at a cheesy-on-a-stick party just to show her fellow corporate executives or lawyers just how eclectic Lib-Dem values can be, but it never goes as far as any of the healing shit.   Oh my goodness me no! That means other people getting into your head and that’s only reserved for The BELOVED leader!

Finally Labour! Try to imagine Peter Mandelson if you will wearing a crystal on a leather thong when he meets up with his Russian billionaire businessmen friends! There he is by the pool on some yacht, in tight little trunks wearing his crystal! Now really? And it’s the same for any of Labor’s Front bench boys in the Commons or Lords, the same for any of the Trades Union Leaders, officials, or main Party workers. Crystals? Crystal healing? We’re serious people here. Fighting for a better Britain. A Britain for Everyone. Suggest you take yourself off to The Green Party or Friends of the Earth. They’re interested in rocks and vegetables! And of Labour’s electorate? Well most of its still from the traditional working class Midlands and North, not the underclass there who don’t vote. Working class men, wherever, are pragmatic. They’re not interested in the decorative charms of crystals and besides, they’ve got spiritual interests and alliances of another kind once every Saturday that the media make sure last for a week. Healing is when the team win or cod & chips fills a gap. And they can’t be bothered indulging their wives or girlfriends with something pretty on a silver chain, not least till Christmas, because they haven’t the money for it. Season tickets don’t come cheap you know. Besides, healing is bollocks. If there’s something not right then go to the doctors, not someone talking energy shit! Labour’s electorate, together with its decent, caring, hardworking membership who keep the NHS and Social Services running don’t have time for abstractions outside of reality. They’re concerned with real people and for them, the way to heal the spiritual sickness of finance destroying the health of our country is to work to get rid of the Tories, not walk around wearing a crystal or think that crystal healing will make anything better.

In summary, discounting the membership and electorate of these political parties, who is it that buys and wears crystals and believes in the power of crystal healing? If it’s a growing number of people as I’ve claimed in an earlier post then it is indeed a fair questions. Who then are these people?

Well now let me tell you! They are neither emphatically Tory, Labour, Lib Dem or UKIP. They may be a little bit of one or a little bit of the other and maybe even a little bit of each but the party they spiritually belong to, whose values they more or less accept, where they may find in one another a growing inner subscription to the new belief of the healing power of crystals is The Crystal Healing Party. Its electorate is  a growing force in our society and sooner or later it’s inevitable that politicians of all the main established Parties take cognizance of it and recognize its growing power as a force in our society. We do not as yet seek political power. The leaders of the main political parties, indeed the political establishment may rest assured… there is no current intention to field candidates for either local, national or European elections.  However the voice of crystal healing is being increasingly heard. The spirituality and values of its adherents becoming increasingly known around the fringes of the party political system. We ask for nothing. Neither that you listen, nor that you accept. Our enlightened system of healing is a growing popular view. Something that one day you may have to consider. We are the new faith. The new coming force to be reckoned with. Benign, enlightened, individualistic yet communal.

Should any of the leaders of the main political parties seek to look to the future, be part of the dawn of the growing enlightenment then you are welcome to write to me. We can talk, and understanding your needs I would be happy to send you a crystal!

 

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If you've enjoyed reading this post and others in the series, why not try reading some of the novels I've written? One is a highly enjoyable black satire about the English Literary Racket and what unknown writers have to do to try and get their work published. It exposes the whole dirty world of literary agents, celebrity writers, journalists and publishers and it tells you the truth. I know, I've been through it all.

A CONSPIRACY OF TRASH is a story that Rupert Murdoch's book publishing company Harper Collins, the largest in the UK, refused to publish. You can download the Foreword on Amazon for free if you like, and if you want to read more it will cost just 99 cents or around 75 pence. Above all I hope you enjoy it and that it makes you laugh because I enjoyed writing it.

The story has many different characters and one or two heroes. It also has a serious message. About the people who really control publishing and the kind of books they allow you to read. All the publishers refused to give this black comedy a public hearing. They pose as liberals, believers in free speech but they're nothing of the kind and the thing they fear most is satire. If you read A CONSPIRACY OF TRASH you'll understand why.

Another great read is my Science Fiction novel THE ADVENTURES OF A MAROONED SPACEMAN told in two parts. It’s a story about a human being’s struggle to survive after being dumped on an alien world after his Starcruiser is attacked by space pirates. It’s a real thriller about human endurance and the triumph of a man against all the odds.

Finally you’ll really enjoy my exciting human interest drama THE BROTHERS PAGE, A VERY ENGLISH NOVEL, about a working class family up north, two brothers and their sister, who make it out of a tough grinding background to achieve happiness, fame and fortune. Through it all the guiding spirit is Ma Page, who nurtures her family through many adventures. This is a story full of happiness and romance where true love is found. A great family tale full of hard work and ambition, optimism and hope. Something that will warm the hearts of those who find life tough and dispiriting today. You can likewise get some free download from Amazon to experience the spirit of the story and to buy it is cheap. I promise you’ll enjoy it!

THE LATEST NEWS

Three weeks ago before I went on holiday to delightful Cornwall most of the national and international news was dominated by the impending bombing of Syria with Bomber Hague, Bomber Kerry, and Bomber ‘Frenchy’ Hollande riding high in the saddle with the BBC standing out from all the other bomb them now media in its bigoted one-sided reporting and advocacy for attacking that country over its regime’s supposed use of chemical weapons against rebels. Today, after the intervention of the United Nations and opposition from the Russians, all the drummed up immediacy for military action  has been put on a backburner and its desperado-like proponents have emerged from the whipped up spin for bombing looking and sounding like heavy-handed gung-ho twerps who couldn’t control themselves.

That’s all gone with the Americans and Russians rubbing shoulders in Geneva and playing high fives about what they might or might not do in the future, the French back in their box and gobby William Hague well out on the sidelines playing Noddy to just about anything. As for the BBC and other news media, like the story-hounds that they are they’ve gone sniffing for action elsewhere. Anything hot and they’re onto it and there’s nothing hotter to emerge in recent days than the Liberal Democrats’ Party Conference, revelations about dirt and filth in the Labour Party and last but not least Godfrey Bloom, the Jack the Lad who’s just  pissed on UKIP’s Annual Conference Parade and the hopes of his Leader Nigel Farage!

My latest post has dealt with the first. If Nick Clegg and the Liberal Democrats look like something that crawled out of a can of Romanian dogmeat, its nothing compared to the nastiness surrounding Gordon Brown and the now published revelations in the Daily Mail coming from his former personal media advisor Damian McBride who has openly admitted to having smeared goodly Gordon’s former political Cabinet colleagues Charles Clarke and John Reid by threatening to reveal damaging allegations about them at the time of the race to succeed Tony Blair as Labour Prime Minister. These smearing tactics, already described by Harriet Harman as ‘vile’ have shocked and disturbed many current senior figures in the Labour Party and although McBride has claimed that his former boss knew nothing about them the matter is now being hotly debated. The big question is this. Why on earth would he have done these things if he hadn’t been instructed to do so?

At issue is the so called toxic culture surrounding the ex-Labour Prime Minister and some of his close political associates, Ed Miliband and Ed Balls, towards the end of Tony Blair’s Premiership. Both men were part of the inner circle of Gordon Brown loyalists and an integral part of his political operation to succeed Blair and worked closely with smears spinner Damian McBride although both would claim that they actually knew nothing about what he was doing. This view however has been questioned, for example, by former Labour Cultural Secretary, Harman, who to quote the Daily Mail, “said she was sure Mr Miliband knew about the underhand tactics.”

Much more will undoubtedly be revealed as slime-boy McBride publishes his memoirs in the Mail but clearly much knifing and dirt-bagging went on during the time immediately before and after dark Gordon’s Premiership. For me, however, there is something more simple, more expressive that reveals his personal and political character. There was always something forced, something uneasy about Gordon Brown’s manner. Whenever he smiled it seemed like he was making an effort to do so. Like it was something that didn’t come easy or natural. It was something artificial and laboured rather than organic and from within. There was no real humor about the man. It was almost as if any light within him was dark. His manner was heavy, almost brooding, and he could be brutally dismissive with those who disagreed with him. It was like there was an either you’re with me or you’re against me aspect about him and this, coupled with this brooding inner secretiveness, the man seemed to have much that me of another major political figure with the same demeanor of recent times.

When I consider the darkness, the brooding and what seems to me the deviousness of the man, I am much reminded of former American President Richard Nixon, another dark lord from the past whose political psychology was conditioned by years of resentment against those with greater wealth who’d earlier achieved greater success, like the Kennedys. Maybe the same applied to Brown’s relationship with Blair… a sense of inferiority breeding an inner resentment… Something that fuelled a deep and bitter determination to succeed whatever the cost. Richard Nixon, as everyone no knows, used smear tactics of the worst kind to damage his political opponents. That’s history! What then will be revealed about New Labour’s dark master of politics in more recent times? It’s a treat waiting to happen!

In the meantime let us consider this. That for a considerable time leading figures in Labour Government were more concerned to do dirty things to each other for personal gain and cared more about their own personal advancement than the welfare of the poor and the unemployed and all those who needed their help. When they abandoned their traditional core values the Party became dirty and still stinks like a sewer.

I move now to another unsavory political story, one involving king sized cockroach of the UK Independence Party Godfrey Bloom. At a fringe meeting of his Party on the eve of its Annual Conference, interestingly enough entitled Women in Politics and attended by the wife of its leader, the dear Godfrey was taken to task by Jane Collins a former UKIP by-election candidate who, responding to comments he’d once made about women never cleaning behind their fridges, said pointedly, “ I have never cleaned behind my fridge,” to which he replied, “THIS PLACE IS FULL OF SLUTS…”

Now why, one should ask, should he have generalised the adjective and referred to most or all of the women present, including the wife of Nigel Farage, as a slut? It’s a fair question.

Afterwards, Mr Bloom said, presumably attempting to minimalize the misogynist character of his remark, “we all had a jolly good laugh. Everyone in the room thought it was funny.”

Mr Bloom, let it be said, had already made mention of his knowledge of sluts having confessed to visiting various brothels in the Far East. However he has recently been accused of sexual harassment when visiting a Brussels hotel by a female rugby player who has said, “Bloom is undeterred when his sexual advances are not reciprocated, and when I am able to secure testimony from others who were present I will seriously consider referring this matter to the Belgian police…”

The immediate reaction of Party leader Nigel to Gobby Godfrey’s latest gaffe was initially to say…

“he has a sort-of rather old fashioned Territorial Army sense of humor that does not translate well in modern Britain,” but later added that the episode had “destroyed” the party’s annual conference and robbed it of the chance of positive press coverage.

Now what does this mean, Bloom having a rather old fashioned Territorial Army sense of humor that does not translate well in modern Britain? Well to begin, such humor is juvenile, schoolboy smutty and in your face geriatric. In a word lower middle class Essex. It’s got no style or class. And if Mr Farage wants to turn away from a modern England to one where a military manner dictates sexual propriety, I suggest he’d have no better place to look than the fascist disposition.

Bloom’s manner has a certain psychological character. It has the smell of impending impotency searching for lost vigor through an aggressive and authoritarian disposition. For example, when confronted outside the fringe meeting by a male reporter as to whether he had just called the women sluts he said that he couldn’t remember, then added, yes, he had, but it had been a joke, “was there a single woman in there who didn’t laugh, you sad little man?” This in itself is also interesting. To defend himself in this way by aggressively demeaning a stranger clearly shows the particularly nasty and aggressive character of the man. He’s neither  fun nor a bag of laughs at all, as many of his UKIP defenders may claim. Such a disposition is more bullying than anything else besides being seriously stupid. In the full glare of publicity at this time of Annual Conference and with the eyes of the British public upon them, Gobby Godfrey lets the cat out the bag and gives us a clue about the real psychological nature of the party and much of its membership.

It’s anti-immigration, anti-European Economic Community, fundamentally anti-European, anti-Jonny foreigner… It’s far more nationalist than the English Defence League or the British National Party. It’s expertly Populist, deriving most of its support from the social classes possessing tattoos and aggressive dogs en masse. The condition for the dictatorship of this new lumpen-proletariat through its representation by UKIP has been in creation for more than a decade. Just imagine if you will a dozen or more Godfrey Blooms running our relationships with other countries, our Criminal Justice System, our Social Services, our Education, Trade and internal Community relations and you’ll know what you’re getting.

GODFREY’S DONE US A SERVICE. BE WARNED!

 

________________________________________________________

If you've enjoyed reading this post and others in the series, why not try reading some of the novels I've written? One is a highly enjoyable black satire about the English Literary Racket and what unknown writers have to do to try and get their work published. It exposes the whole dirty world of literary agents, celebrity writers, journalists and publishers and it tells you the truth. I know, I've been through it all.

A CONSPIRACY OF TRASH is a story that Rupert Murdoch's book publishing company Harper Collins, the largest in the UK, refused to publish. You can download the Foreword on Amazon for free if you like, and if you want to read more it will cost just 99 cents or around 75 pence. Above all I hope you enjoy it and that it makes you laugh because I enjoyed writing it.

The story has many different characters and one or two heroes. It also has a serious message. About the people who really control publishing and the kind of books they allow you to read. All the publishers refused to give this black comedy a public hearing. They pose as liberals, believers in free speech but they're nothing of the kind and the thing they fear most is satire. If you read A CONSPIRACY OF TRASH you'll understand why.

Another great read is my Science Fiction novel THE ADVENTURES OF A MAROONED SPACEMAN told in two parts. It’s a story about a human being’s struggle to survive after being dumped on an alien world after his Starcruiser is attacked by space pirates. It’s a real thriller about human endurance and the triumph of a man against all the odds.

Finally you’ll really enjoy my exciting human interest drama THE BROTHERS PAGE, A VERY ENGLISH NOVEL, about a working class family up north, two brothers and their sister, who make it out of a tough grinding background to achieve happiness, fame and fortune. Through it all the guiding spirit is Ma Page, who nurtures her family through many adventures. This is a story full of happiness and romance where true love is found. A great family tale full of hard work and ambition, optimism and hope. Something that will warm the hearts of those who find life tough and dispiriting today. You can likewise get some free download from Amazon to experience the spirit of the story and to buy it is cheap. I promise you’ll enjoy it!

PROMISES AND LIES: THE LIB-DEM PARTY CONFERENCE

Anyone British with any sense of decency and political cleanliness, perhaps cleanliness in general, knows that a Liberal-Democrat Party Conference has just taken place. That’s because anyone watching their antics on television or reading about it in the news media suddenly feels intruded upon, even invaded, by a nasty coating of slime. There’s something genuinely distasteful, oily and slimy if you will, about their entirely opportunistic political conduct. They have no shame at all about what they stand for. They want to be something for everyone. Their beloved leader has spoken! Their aim is to stand at the Centre Ground of British politics. Neither one thing or another… but somewhere in between! Like political whores for all seasons. A bit of castigation for their Tory Coalition partners, a bit of stick for New Labour, they’re already laying down terms for pimping themselves out to whichever of the two main parties wins the next General Election.

That way you see, they can’t have any real political policies of their own right now. Nothing important they can stand up for. Just a bit of political tinkering here and there because if they come out with anything important that favours one side or another they could find themselves on the loser’s side and have no political power. A bit like the student tuition fees fiasco which they had to drop in order to get into bed with the Tories last time round! So while they’re playing for time it doesn’t do them any good to stand for anything important! It’s as plain as the nose on your face. This gang of eager to please political rascals are slimy opportunists whose only trumpeted claim is that they’ll steer any side they support back to the middle ground where nothing important ever gets done. Yes, yes, they want to stand for people everywhere, joke-joke, only the reality of their short time in office has been quite different. During their spell of being tucked up with Cameron they’ve totally ditched everything they once claimed to believe. Remember how it was before the last General Election? How they’d wanted to clean up the banks and rotten practices of the financial services industry? Vince Cable going on about it all the time to make them look honest, decent and radical. Something they knew would please the general public. So what actually happened to any of that? These days, banking practices and the bonus culture are just as slimy as they were then, never mind all the Liberal Democrat chatter.

Talk about making a difference? Talk about steering the Tories into the Centre Ground? It’s all lies and they know it, but let’s get one thing clear. These people are not simply political whores. Their up for it opportunism is so horribly evident and so in your face that whatever political street corner they’re standing on you know they’re up for the game. Trouble is, most people have had a fair taste of them now and because they look older the make-up of lies has to get thicker. Hence the need to please everyone and the media opportunity to do it is through their annual Conference. This time round however they’ve had to work a lot harder to sell themselves. Be something that everyone wants, like some worn out old tart who’s been sussed.

Indeed, with their beloved leader’s popularity rating running close to that of Robert Mugabe and the Party itself close to free-fall, they’ve been desperately trying to come up with ways of rejuvenating their image and if Botox or Viagra won’t do, it might have to be just about anything! Anyone up for a session in bed with the Liberal Democrats? Poor dears, they’re working so hard to sell themselves. Promises of free school meals for your kids… Promises of cheap housing for all… Upping the Minimum Wage… Promises of political cleanliness and decency…  Only it comes with an unsaid political warning. Back in power with ANYONE out it all goes with the knickers.  

Remember their righteous attack on MP’s expenses? How they’d reform the whole system? Nothing done since they came into Government. Remember their zealous pre-election indignation about energy prices? Well since Ed Davey took over the energy portfolio, prices have never stopped rising and executives from the big five energy companies are now ‘helping out’ sic, in his Department, doing exactly what you may ask? Remember all the talk about reforming the electoral system and making it fairer? Well their Tory Coalition partners just wouldn’t have it and told them in no uncertain terms where to get off! Furthermore, what have the Liberal Democrats done to curb all the Tory excesses of welfare benefit cuts? In a word, nothing. They’ve gone along with the whole attack on the Welfare State and the poor, almost like the whole party climbed into the pocket of the Daily Mail. No wonder some of their young Members of Parliament are leaving. Said that they want nothing to do with them anymore!

As Boris Johnson has pointed out, the colour of the Liberal Democrats is yellow. But then the Party is yellow in every sense. Too opportunistic to have any real political values and with no chance of governing the country anyway, they’ve come out at Conference as standing for a bit of everything! Bits of green stuck in here and there to please the Environmentalists and bits of pink to ingratiate themselves with what’s left of Labour. Well actually there’s nothing ‘left’ at all about Miliband’s Labour. They’ve also ditched any values they had because they want to be in the ‘Centre Ground’, but then it’s not too hard to understand. No MP’s in either Party have done a day’s work down a mine or worked out at sea on a trawler. Both Party leaders went to elite schools and their Cabinet or Shadow Cabinet members have spent most of their lives earning serious money keeping chairs warm. Part of what they call a day’s work involves swilling coffee, and occasionally enjoying a bit of chit chat with their constituents. Apart from that they’re all on the gravy train and the Chardonnay Circuit and what they’ve really been doing is figuring out ways to resolve the financial crisis caused by the wealthy, the greedy and the deceitful in the financial services industry by making those who work to bring food, light and warmth to your home like the fishermen, the oil workers and the miners pay for it!

So what kind of cheer do the Liberal Democrats bring to your home then? Oh sorry, I forgot. They’ll all be working hard to clear up the financial crisis! Oh goody gumdrops! Well actually I don’t see any hand ever coming out of their pockets unless it’s to pick up a cheque for expenses, but never mind, they’re still working hard for us all they assure us! Well honestly, does Nick Clegg and his slimy gang of political rascals really think anyone believes all that stuff anymore. British people well know that THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE EATING. Firstly they made important promises before the election then  dropped them to get into Government. Secondly they did little to nothing to challenge their Tory partners about anything really important when it counted. Looking back on the whole Liberal Democrat pre-election political standpoint it was all smoke and mirrors. One leader followed another down the drain in quick succession over women and booze and no-one really knew what any of them stood for. They were a kind of manufactured media image. A kind of left leaning composite that could be brought out whenever it suited the newspaper bosses. In truth they never actually ever stood for anything solid. There was no organic connection either with working people or industrial capitalists. Neither on one side or the other but something Christ knows what in between. All smoke and mirrors… All smiles and chit chat… And there’s the wonder of it all! With that kind of shit going for them they wound up in Government. Well how did that happen you might ask?

Well it did, because they clearly played you for mugs. They made promises, dropped them flat at the first opportunity and went for the money. And now they want you to trust them again!

Don’t you see, we’ve only been there a short time and we need you to help us stop any mad Tory or Labour excesses so please trust us all over again…

It’s my view that there are only two ways of understanding Liberal Democrats in Government. Either they are political opportunists of the worst possible kind, political whores if you like… or they are genuinely deluded. Believing that by their actions they can actually make things better, in which case we really have what may best be described as a ‘medical’ condition. A group of people who are so disturbed that they need medical treatment. Maybe some kind of psychological counseling. For people who are so deluded, so far out of touch with reality, the best kind of remedy is often hospital treatment. The important question however is this, who are the really sick people here? Is it the Liberal Democrats, or is it the people who’ll vote for them at the next General Election?

And if you want to pursue this kind of theme then it goes something like this. What kind of people is it these days who are willing to put their trust in known political liars? In other words, who is it who’s living in a political madhouse? Is it them or is it us? Are the Liberal Democrats on the outside, living in a world of slimy reality looking in on us poor deluded souls living in some kind of political asylum, or are we living in the real world looking in on them? So you see, it’s all very simple. Either the Liberal Democrats are genuine rascals of the very worst kind or they’re all living in some dark nightmare world where they think they’re terribly important. It can only be one of the two… or can it? Maybe it’s us who are living in the dark nightmare world with the Liberal Democrat goblins whispering into our ears that all will be well if we love them… And once we do and give them the power they crave they’ll stick a spike up our arse! 

Just like something out of Hieronymus Bosch!   

It’s your choice then. Do you want Nick Clegg to take you by the hand and lead you up a rat’s arse, or do you want to sit in a crocus and cuddle with a monkey who looks remarkably like Ed Miliband? Or maybe float across a pond of urine on the back of scarecrow with George Osborne for company?

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If you've enjoyed reading this post and others in the series, why not try reading some of the novels I've written? One is a highly enjoyable black satire about the English Literary Racket and what unknown writers have to do to try and get their work published. It exposes the whole dirty world of literary agents, celebrity writers, journalists and publishers and it tells you the truth. I know, I've been through it all.

A CONSPIRACY OF TRASH is a story that Rupert Murdoch's book publishing company Harper Collins, the largest in the UK, refused to publish. You can download the Foreword on Amazon for free if you like, and if you want to read more it will cost just 99 cents or around 75 pence. Above all I hope you enjoy it and that it makes you laugh because I enjoyed writing it.

The story has many different characters and one or two heroes. It also has a serious message. About the people who really control publishing and the kind of books they allow you to read. All the publishers refused to give this black comedy a public hearing. They pose as liberals, believers in free speech but they're nothing of the kind and the thing they fear most is satire. If you read A CONSPIRACY OF TRASH you'll understand why.

Another great read is my Science Fiction novel THE ADVENTURES OF A MAROONED SPACEMAN told in two parts. It’s a story about a human being’s struggle to survive after being dumped on an alien world after his Starcruiser is attacked by space pirates. It’s a real thriller about human endurance and the triumph of a man against all the odds.

Finally you’ll really enjoy my exciting human interest drama THE BROTHERS PAGE, A VERY ENGLISH NOVEL, about a working class family up north, two brothers and their sister, who make it out of a tough grinding background to achieve happiness, fame and fortune. Through it all the guiding spirit is Ma Page, who nurtures her family through many adventures. This is a story full of happiness and romance where true love is found. A great family tale full of hard work and ambition, optimism and hope. Something that will warm the hearts of those who find life tough and dispiriting today. You can likewise get some free download from Amazon to experience the spirit of the story and to buy it is cheap. I promise you’ll enjoy it!