A Conspiracy of Trash

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Saturday, 16 February 2013

THE HORSEMEAT CHRONICLES

PART TWO:    IT GETS EVEN BETTER

 
As forecast in the first part of this post last Friday, things have gone downhill at a gallop. It’s not just Findus and the cheap end supermarkets involved in it now. The great horsemeat scandal affects the great and the good with Waitrose, Sainsbury’s and Morrison’s caught with their pants down. There’s also serious confusion in Government and the Food Standards Agency! Why would a Minister be telling us not to throw anything away and that everything’s safe to eat when just about every supermarket’s been clearing their shelves with wheelbarrows?

First Ireland then Poland. Next came France and after that Romania. When BBC cameras tried to film at a main market there in the capital after an abattoir was thought to be suspect they were met by some seriously mean looking heavies who, wanting to make a point about how tasty the meat was, refused to let them go any further, and naturally with menaces! Nice to see that. And nice to know where the food processors are getting their meat from but then that’s Eastern Europe. However let’s not be in too much of a hurry at pointing a finger when people are in on the scam right on our own doorstep. On Tuesday police raided a meat firm in Wales and a slaughterhouse in West Yorkshire. Both were shut down by the Food Standards Agency after test revealed horsemeat going into burgers and kebab spindles!

Fancy a doner or shish after a few pints of lager? All that meat being sliced and stuck into a pitta with salad. True, you were never quite sure what the guys serving did with their fingers but at least it was cheap. Now you know why. But then who’s squeaky clean after ten pints of lager and can’t smell anything anyway when its dished up with a hot chili sauce? All right, all right… we’re not talking rats here, but then the Foods Standards Agency don’t test for small furry things.

Once upon a time, when all the world was young and you put any doubts you may have about cheap mass processed food somewhere over a rainbow where the Wizard of Oz did his shopping, the name Waitrose stood for high priced reliability. Not anymore. A firm in Glasgow has been identified as the supplier of Waitrose beef meatballs which may contain pork. It’s not their fault, or is it? Taking the word of their supplier on trust! Scots, Romanians, the Irish and Welsh! So many appear to be in on the scam that it’s hard for anyone with the best will in the world to get a grip on the great meat substitution rip off. It’s a Europe-wide scam involving Findus in Sweden and meat processors in France. Food Minister Paterson’s gone to Brussels in a hurry because just about everyone’s in on the bizz.

Unfortunately, as indicated in the title, it’s all going to hell in a handcart. It gets worse! Very much worse! Anyone heard of meat products. The stuff that goes into seasoning, stock cubes and gravy? Anyone ever thought about the stuff that goes into tins… the meat ravioli, the sausages that go with the beans, the meatballs with the spaghetti, the soups such as Oxtail and Beef. Who’s testing these for horse or pig DNA? Not the Food Standards Agency, even though they’re processed beef products, so called.

But just wait a minute. Anyone heard of something called Gelatin? This is a substance which to quote from Wikipedia, “is a mixture of peptides and proteins produced by partial hydrolysis of Collagen extracted from the skin, boiled crushed horn, hoof and bones, connective tissues, organs and some intestines of animals such as domestic cattle, chicken, pigs and horses…”  “Gelatin is derived from pork skins, pork, horses, and cattle bones, or split cattle hides.” Read further if you’re interested in its preparation! It’s classified as a foodstuff and “is found in most gummy candies, as well as other products such as marshmallows, gelatin desert, and in some ice cream, dip and yoghurt.” Right, have you taken that on board? And to quote finally from Wikipedia, It is commonly used as a gelling agent in food, pharmaceuticals, photography and cosmetic manufacturing.”

So foodstuffs using a derivative of pig and horse is at least a possibility so is the Food Standards Agency at least likely to check whether any horse or pig DNA has gone into your kids’ jelly babies? Now that’s a question someone should ask. Alternatively, ladies, what might have gone into your lipstick?

If questions like these aren’t suited for domestic consumption they’re far less likely to suit other interests. There are some big commercial players with billions tied up in investments. Making huge profits out of what you fork off your plate or rub on your face. Their budgets combined are a million times more than those of all the standards agencies combined the world over so maybe it’s just a fact of life that’s now coming out. Raising an ugly head as an ugly thought bubbles up to the surface. Disturbing the belief you once had that everything you got served up cheap was above board and kosher.

When you ate and looked good you blessed the hands that fed you, forgetting the truth you ought to know well. That there never was any such thing as a free lunch. Ever!

So now you’ll all wait for the test results of the Food Standards Agency and those elsewhere in Europe. Meanwhile everyone’s talking about honest labeling, and there’s even some talking safety. Some! What should we all do then in the meantime? Run around looking like emaciated Vegans? It’s not a problem the rich have to worry about. They’ve got the time and money to pick and choose, but who cares about them anyway? Certainly not the politicians. They’re only a fraction of any mass market and the mass market is precisely where the money is made, legal or not. Reassuring the public that they can trust what they’re getting is central to restoring their confidence, something essential for restoring the manufacturers faith in humanity! As long as Joe Public maintains the circular process of spooning it in and shitting it out it’ll  keep the smile on their face!

But there’s a real problem here. Has anyone heard so much as a peep from the Liberal Democrats? No, of course not. They’re all vegetarians! Give them a cheesy on a stick and they’ll promise you anything. Trouble is, the little cheesies are bovine products so the Lib-Dem Tory tarts could be white-wining on any old shit! No, not a peep from any of them, not even after developments in recent days when the police finally got busy. Arrests at last! At the burger and kebab joint in Wales where the owner previously said they’d done nothing wrong then at the plant up in Yorkshire. As though the jack-the-lads who work in these places don’t know what’s what. However the French have also been busy. Spanghero, sounds a really nice bunch of guys, have been caught red-handed with horse-blood paperwork all over their hands and closed down by the Government while in Holland, a Dutch meat trader ALREADY CRIMINALLY CONVICTED OF HORSE FOR BEEF SUBSTITUTION has just been found out doing it all over again with a friendly meat processor. Is anyone asking any questions here? Like how he was allowed to do it all over again. How all these people were allowed to lie, cheat and deceive.

But then I guess it’s understandable really. They’re only cheating the poor and their kids.

Clearly, the problem’s not only here but all over Europe, only has anyone heard of any top level Eurocrats in Brussels saying so much as a word? These people are only too hot when they want taxpayers’ money for farming subsidies - that’s paying farmers to grow nothing. However, when it comes to trans-national meat and food fraud such as product mislabeling and mis-selling they’re just like the Lib-Dems. Not a word!                                                                                                  

And finally, the test results on Friday. Everything’s fine, joke, joke! Only one percent of everything tested contains horsemeat but then that’s the school-kids in Lancashire and the stuff dished up in the Whitbread pub and restaurant outlets. Presumably only small traces we’re told of horsey ingredients anyway, so everything’s alright. Trouble is, these are only a fraction of all recent tests! The rest are yet to come only  has anything been said about tests conducted on the stuff served up in prisons by Government catering suppliers or throughout the NHS hospitals to patients? Have any tests been conducted on confectionery products, on meat additives in stock cubes or canned products? I think not. In the next few months European Governments and supermarket chains will be dishing out mixed messages and wait for everything to blow over. Fingers crossed for other big media stories to dilute public concern that’s now running high so they don’t have to increase the budgets of food standards agencies that have recently been cut to the bone.

Let the jokes and metaphors fly! Sooner or later everything will lighten up and public concerns diminish under the weight of good humor. Meanwhile you can bet your life that the criminals responsible for all the meat substitution fraud and the supermarket chains that have been relaxed about testing the products they sell will all be blaming each other. It’s all a bit like banking and financial services really. Getting away what they can get away with until something leaks out all over again and people say sorry and promise it won’t happen again. It’s so easy, really, to hold up your hands and say, you got me bang to rights guv, I was the one who done it, take a hit on your profits for a while then let it happen all over again.

Profitability is not conducive to a culture of integrity, and self-regulation never worked anywhere where big profits are there to be made. It happened in banking and in the media. What makes you think that the food industry is any different. As I’ve said elsewhere in one of my posts, in a culture that produces so many on the make cheats and jack-the-lad rascals OUR BEST AND ONLY DEFENCE IS CONTINUAL UNENDING VIGILANCE.  

DON’T TRUST THE PEOPLE WHO SPEAK FOR YOU. TRUST YOURSELVES!

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