A Conspiracy of Trash

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Sunday, 10 February 2013

THE HORSEMEAT CHRONICLES

PART ONE : UNFOLDING SCANDAL

 
Horse and pig DNA in supermarket beefburgers. Horsemeat in your lasagna! It’s official, but actually what does it actually mean? Now if anyone thinks that some nice, lean tasty horsemeat, you know, a nice piece of horse steak mince or some succulent roast pork kind of stuff accidentally went into those products you’d really better think again. Nothing so sublime I’m afraid. We’re talking about food for the poor here, especially kids. Hard up single parents or families where both Mum and Dad are unemployed; people on contract work or minimum wage. We’re talking about what the poor eat. Trusting that what they buy cheap from the supermarkets is at least honest.

Only it isn’t! Beef and pork DNA can mean just about anything and what it’s definitely not supposed to mean in beef burgers is eyeballs, bollocks, offal, hooves or anything else from tucked away factories in Ireland or France who cut the stuff up and flog it somewhere else to those who in turn ‘process’ it for supermarkets in England. It’s supposed to be what people expect it to be from the packaging. In the case of beef-burgers, beef, only it isn’t. Parts of it are something else so the question arises. Okay, what is it?   

So far all you’ve glibly heard from the media is talk in the abstract. DNA from other animals… sounds unpleasant, even unfortunate, but acceptable! Especially when so called experts, keen to earn a few quid on a television interview pipe up and tell you, as experts of course, that horse meat is really quite healthy, quite nourishing actually! Actually it’s only too typical of the horse-shit you get in the multi-billion pound food trade with many of the experts on nice little earners from the supermarkets. So what then is the reality of those unfortunate traces of DNA from ‘other animals’ that goes into burgers and lasagna?

Well for one thing it’s all got to do with selling food to the poor on the cheap so it’s hardly likely to be loin or steak mince. Well think of it. IS IT? Those who dish it up for the poor no doubt take the view that they’re stupid as well. Stands to reason doesn’t it. If they weren’t stupid why would they be poor in the first place? It’s a bit like the way bankers think, or members of the Government who’ve spent time thinking of these things in their Oxford University Clubs, or actually Members of Parliament in general. It’s a kind of contempt. All you people down there are really great when we need your vote every five years but the rest of the time you’re stupid enough to be needy and poor so you really won’t think about the shit you’re feeding you’re kids. Buy it cheap and poop it out wholesale!

Well the horse and pig DNA they’ve found in your on the cheap burgers could be brain, kidneys, stomach, eyes and testicles, and that’s definitely not the worst! I mean, if you get into work late one morning and someone tells you you’re a real horse’s arse I think you’ll know what I mean.

I mean DNA strands of bollocks in your burger is one thing but there are places with animals you really don’t want to go. Now forgive me if I’m wrong but wasn’t there a serious scandal involving beefburgers time back during the days of nasty Margaret Thatcher. One of her arse-crawling Ministers, Gummer I think it was, or something that sounded like him, having his daughter eat a burger on camera to show it was safe when there was a major panic alert about cheap meat contamination with cattle brains infected with BSE being rendered into fertilizer by the meat processing jack the lads and finding its way into farms all over the place. And there was this Tory Minister of Agriculture getting his daughter to eat it so everyone would believe it was safe. Such a nice man!

Yesterday the BSE Scandal, with cattle falling about like they were on ice, today stuff in your beefburger and lasagna sold as beef that isn’t beef at all and the food experts treating everyone like children in the belief that they’re too stupid to think any further. Oh yes… and what about the celebrity chefs! Such nice people, but has anyone heard so much as a peep from them with this new scandal going on? Indeed, has anyone heard anything from these on the make foodies who glibly and endlessly tell us all what to eat and how to make it, drawing their cheques from the supermarkets they advertise so they can open up restaurant chains. Nice one celebrity chefs! You really know how to keep your mouths shut when it counts.

And come to think of it has anyone heard so much as a peep from the Liberal Democrats?

But that’s not all. Come to think of it what’s going into the meals the sick are being served up in hospitals? What’s going into the school dinners you’re kids are eating and what’s being served in the prisons? Not the kind of thing M.P.’s are noshing in Parliament or banking executives chomp in the board room canteens.

Cheap horse and pig-burgers and horsey lasagna! Well done supermarkets. Trying hard to give all your Muslim customers value for money and making them think that you’re doing your best. That you’ve really got their interests at heart when you tell you sincerely and honestly that every little helps only next time maybe you’d do better checking your sources and standards more accurately, frequently and openly.

However, mistakes can be made and the supermarkets that became victim to these filthy scams are places where the real victims shop. The victims in our society on low pay, who are unemployed more often than not through no fault of their own, NOT because they’re idle and lazy the way the gutter press brands them.  Then there are the old people, somehow struggling to make ends meet on poor pensions, struggling to survive a harsh winter unable to have the heating on because of endlessly rising energy prices… and teenagers with young kids who can’t afford to feed them any better than cheap processed meals.

The supermarkets are victims by default. The poor and the often desperately needy are victims on purpose. Though sneered at and too often despised, these are the people left in the dirt by a society dominated by on the make banking executives and money dealers with sky high pensions and bonuses, energy price fixers ramping up profits for shareholders, yahoo boys in the Conservative Party and their creepy-crawly mates the Lib Dems, not forgetting a Labour Party that’s chucked overboard just about every decent principle it ever had. Yes these are the people who the politicians abandoned. Who eat on the desperately cheap and trust what they’re given is right. Maybe sometime they ought to try eating the same!

Part two to follow:     IT GETS EVEN DIRTIER!

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