Let me be clear on one
point. Women in general are a far more spiritual species of being than men.
That said, alongside
other, more pernicious forms of mysticism, crystal healing is relatively
harmless, though as I recalled in an earlier post, it does have its bad
moments. The activity, however, is suggestive rather than devious and has no
real connection with deviance. There are no witches involved, fertility rites,
sexual aberration or hard-core nastiness. Crystal healing is purely spiritual
with a bit of money thrown in, and may be viewed as a faith that runs alongside
other religions. There are no dark arts or practices involved. In fact the
healing character of crystals parallels the healing balm of faith in a better
world through Jesus and in many cases may be a substitute for it. Many women
around the age of forty are looking for something to believe in which their
lives are no longer providing. Around this time something seems to be missing.
As though what was there before is no longer satisfactory. Perhaps it is they
themselves who are responsible. Perhaps it is someone else; a husband, a
marriage, a career.
Things aren’t what
they were at twenty or thirty. The fires around them are lukewarm. Something
seems to have faded. Gone out in them too. Their lives need rekindling. They
and their anxieties need something new. Reassurance perhaps, a new aura of
youth, a rebalancing. They want to be young again, hormones buzzing, living
life again or alternatively finding solace or happiness or a more mature love.
Ah, women and
crystals! Having a degree in psychology and a capacity for the arts of the
bedside are a far more valuable salesman’s tool than studying the healing
properties of crystals at some Psychic College. It is understanding human needs
as much as the pseudo-science quackery of this wonderful new wave of bullshit
that helps someone like me make people happy and earn a fair living. After all,
Sigmund Freud did the same thing only he turned
analysis into a fine art if not a science without using lumps of silica dioxide
out of Brazil in container loads.
On the other hand there’s
always Rasputin! Typical Russian monk! Beard and mad staring eyes. Into faith
healing and manipulating susceptible rich middle-aged women, with sexual licentiousness
as a side line. But then as I’ve said he was Russian! Our English ways are gentle,
more kindly. We’re more interested in earning a shilling than dealing in souls.
Anyway he was assassinated for doing his meddling and I’m not into that kind of
thing. I prefer to explain, to encourage.
Healing, as I’ve said
in the title, is a black art, but it’s a harmless black art on a personal
level. Its aim is to help people feel better, happier, more confident. It’s
positive in that it gives them something, particularly the ladies I sell to,
for just a few quid. Crystals don’t cost a king’s ransom unless they are rare
or special in some way. I’m often asked by clientele in this group whether I
believe in the healing properties and energies in crystals myself so let me
state this for starters. Generally speaking most people have a very limited
knowledge about crystals and minerals. If they have any at all it’s usually
confined to the Quartz Group.
They’ve heard of and
might have seen Amethyst, Rose Quartz, plain Quartz and possibly Smoky Quartz
but are unaware that all of these have the same basic chemistry, with
additional elements that give them their colour. In the case of
Rose Quartz it’s titanium that makes it pink; iron creates the purple hue of
Amethyst and manganese makes Quartz smoky. Simple as that. One atom of silica,
two atoms of oxygen plus the additions. Most
people have never heard of aluminium-silicate minerals such as apophyllite or stibnite
with its prismatic metal crystals of antimony. Indeed there are thousands of
different minerals many with their own types of crystal. In short, people’s knowledge
of crystals is confined to those that are popular and commonplace.
Crystal healing adepts
and cognoscenti have a much wider knowledge. Even so, it is still confined to
what they regard as minerals having
special healing properties and energies. These include sugilite, mordovite and
green apophyllite for example. In the case of ninety-five per-cent of my
middle-aged female customers, however, such names and properties are esoteric.
They’re interested in the basics. Healing at ground floor level. Peace,
happiness, harmony, love and wellbeing. Those are the things sought in the vast
majority of cases and I don’t take them down the more complex road unless
they’ve been into believing for some time and want to wander further along it.
No, I’m a love, peace and happiness man. The rest gets very expensive. So to return to the question, do I believe
in the healing properties and energies of crystals? My response is
invariably the same. No I’m not a believer myself, but with this rider. In my
experience, believing in the healing properties of crystals does work for many
and there is nothing to say that it will not work for you. Now if you’re still
interested and want to talk, then my conscience is clear and my customers will
know I’ve been honest.
Okay, having made my position
clear I’m still faced by the fact that large numbers of middle-aged women have
problems that they think a clear or coloured Quartz crystal will solve for
them. And the reason for this is because they’ve heard it from friends who
themselves heard it at a cheese and wine party somewhere or other and everyone
laughed and thought it a joke. But on Sunday you headed for a London street
market and came across me! The honest chap who clearly knew all about crystals
and healing and sold you a lovely pink piece of Rose Quartz for five pounds so
you also bought one for Samantha and put it on the shelf in her bedroom hoping
it would bring her luck with her university studies. Not that the chap on the
market said it would but I do remember him saying that it would make her feel
peaceful and calm when she took her exams. And it did! Samantha passed with
flying colours so when she came back she mentioned it to all her friends as I
did to mine!
Word of mouth can be
useful because word gets around but most times it’s women passing the stall
remembering something vague they’ve heard about healing and stopping to look
for a moment. When my eyes follow theirs I can see what’s catching their
attention and guess at their interest. I might break into their thoughts. “We’ve
got some fine quartz crystals on the stall today,” or “Our Rose Quartz from
Madagascar is really special. We’ve just obtained some super new pieces.” Of
course we keep all the best bits under the stall. For special customers only
i.e. for people who think that they’re special but in any case, keeping things
under the stall out of the way of hoi polloi makes them seem special! Even so,
Madagascan Rose Quartz really is special. It’s a beautiful rose colour, translucent
and almost glassy to touch.
Many women hesitate to
pick things up but I’m always ready for that and nod with immediate smiling
approval if a hand stretches out. “Please feel free to pick anything up. You’re
most welcome and you don’t have to buy…” Such a gesture is crucial. It makes a
lady feel relaxed. If they’re holding a quartz crystal I always advise for it
to be seated in the palm of their hand with their fingers wrapped round it.
That way, I explain, they can feel its power magnify its ambient energy for
cleansing and healing. Then I might be required to explain the powerful flowing
energy of the crystal on the table with points at either end. Power flows more freely with those than the
others.
The quartz crystal
chat is introductory. A brief familiarisation with crystals before things get
inevitably more personal. They want to talk about themselves or a friend, who
is often themself, but helps them shy away from making it
personal if you see what I mean. A device of ghastly transparency that I’ve
learned to play along with i.e. like this
friend of yours, has she ever mentioned Rose Quartz to you? It brings peace
where there is strife… harmony where there is chaos… I said to one
particular lady, very posh, in a grey tailored two piece suit and wearing a
necklace of pearls, but then I recalled someone else saying something quite
like it. Christ, it was Margaret Thatcher! That was it, right at the moment she
hit Michael Heseltine over the head with her handbag! No, better get back to
the love and peace. Rose Quartz helps so
many people…
I was building up to
my come and stroke it behind the stall moment when she asked if she could see
our Madagascan. “There’s no need to feel troubled,” I ventured. “Life’s a
complex, difficult thing.”
There, I’d just lifted
the lid a fraction. I’d say no more. If she wanted to talk then she could.
What I’m saying here
is that I give my middle-aged female clientele the opportunity to talk. Nothing
more. I never pry. Just gently lift the lid and manoeuvre their thoughts around
healing. Above all they shouldn’t be afraid. There was nothing dark about
crystals or healing. Their energies were liberating. They brought
self-understanding and enlightenment.
“You sound as if you
really believe it,” many say. And then comes the question that has to be
answered, whether I actually myself believe
in healing? Above all they love honesty. Even though the man selling the stuff
isn’t sure himself or doesn’t think they do anything, at least he’s truthful.
It’s a great bonding, this truthfulness. If the guy selling it is decent it’s
got to rub off. There has to be an element of truth in it all! And with such
logic women get to be Prime Ministers and Presidents! And may even wind up
ruling the world!
Tell me, what is the
phrase that’s so current on everyone’s lips? The little catch phrase that
everyone seems to throw out with such gay abandon and so little inhibition.
They’re all at it from politicians and pop stars, barrow boys to bankers. Yes
of course you’ve heard it. You say it yourself all the time… to be honest! Well it’s a nice easy
phrase, particularly for the first and the last of the above occupations. Honesty!
Everyone wants to appropriate the notion for themselves these days. You can see
the value of this honesty on a market stall selling healing crystals. It
doesn’t matter whether or not I’m a true believer… to be honest! More important
than that for the middle-aged crystal curious is the purveyor’s integrity.
Indeed, in my experience of discussing questions of healing with this group my
earnest doubt is more likely to nurture interest than dampen it.
This association of
honesty with belief , indeed with faith, underpins so many aspects of
commercial life. I’m thinking particularly of the financial services industry.
Why, if we didn’t believe in the honesty of bankers and those who regulate
their activities we might all rush to get our money out lickety-spit. No, we
need to have faith in much the same way as middle-aged women are attracted to
the belief that crystalline forms may provide wellbeing. In that sense, banks,
financial services and crystals have the same function. They all purport to
inspire. The former are backed up by credit rating agencies for a commission
and academic economists for a backhander. The latter by a mystical mumbo-jumbo
half way to lies.
Alas, as we all know by now, the activities of the credit rating agencies were in no small way to blame for the gigantic financial crash in recent times so it is with no small degree of hope that I look to see my own activities in helping middle aged ladies with their spiritual problems lead to a world dominated by passions liberated by Rose Quartz. And if it coincidentally makes me a millionaire in the process then goody gum drops!
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