We shaft the girls and scatter
The good seed of the land
Cos Morris Girls love the Maypole
in Olympic Pageant Land.
It’s all lovely and green and rural
With ribbons, sheep and all
So let’s go shagging in the plural
Under the Farmer’s Market stall
Where there’s eggs and cheese and pasties
In our happy country life
Till you get a dose of the nasties
And give it to your wife
Yes we’re the English Morris dancers
Doing what folks from the shires do
Being rural turds and chancers
Who really belong in a zoo
But we’re in the London Olympics
Showing the world some English life,
Dancing round some fucking maypole
So delightfully rural, Mrs Claypole
That you can cut the crap with a knife!
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