It was late on a rainy Sunday at Camden Lock Market when we were faced with our greatest test. Our greatest horror. I suppose it was inevitable really. That in such a place of filth and squalor, traders bullshit and lies, a decent soul should come along and hope we could work a miracle of crystal healing. Sell her something that would cure her dying son.
An anguished middle aged mother whose son was in hospital with leukemia had heard of the powers of amethyst. Healers used it to cleanse the blood she’d been told and wanted to buy a large piece from us. The best we had. The one on the table with the darkest crystals. Was it for sale? She couldn’t see any price tag. It was a last chance that might save him.
I saw the blood drain out of Louise’s face. I felt desperate. What was I to say to her? What would I be if I took her money and told her it would work? Told this desperate woman a despicable lie. What kind of people were we? Was I devoid of all decency and integrity? A man with no conscience! My mind raced. It wasn’t that simple. What if I told her the truth? Took away any hope she was clinging to. Christ sakes… who was I to play God?
She raised her head and looked at us, her eyes full of expectation. Was it for sale she repeated? It was I said, mechanically going over some science. Thinking it might somehow distract her. Put her off. Or maybe I only wanted to free myself of any guilt. Feel better if I gave her some facts.
“Amethyst’s just a quartz crystal,” I said. “Full of atoms of iron. That’s what gives it its colour. It starts off light purple but the more iron in it the darker it gets, and the older it is. The best stuff’s from Uruguay. The iron mineral in it is called haematite.”
“As in haematic,” she said strongly. “Any medicine acting on blood.”
She must have picked that up from the hospital.
“The mineral just gives it the colour,” I responded neutrally. “Nothing more…”
Her silence gave me some hope. That ought to do it I thought, badly wanting her to understand without having to be too direct.
“Well how much is it?”
I looked at Louise. It just wasn’t working. She still wanted the piece and we both knew I just couldn’t sell it. It would only further any illusion. Give substance to what we both knew was a lie.
“But you believe it can heal, don’t you?” she said. “You really do believe that it heals?”
There was a tremble in her voice now. She was asking directly and I just didn’t have the heart to tell her a lie, or the heart to tell her the truth.
Truth and lies… Lies and the truth… And here was I facing this woman. My heart in one place and my conscience in another. I just had to do something. Find a way out.
I picked up the piece from the table and again looked at Louise. She nodded. Knew exactly what I was thinking. “I’m not really sure I can answer your question,” I said firmly. “What I do know is that I’d just like to help, so please, please take this from us as a gift. It’s what we both want you to do. And please let us pray for your son. You’ll always be in our thoughts.”
“Bless you, bless you both,” she cried, taking my hand. Smiling at Louise who was getting quite tearful. “You’re both really good people.”
I wrapped the amethyst in my best piece of tissue and put it in my best box. “Bless you too mother,” I murmured, handing it to her. “And come and tell us how your son’s doing if you’re here again on a Sunday.”
Minutes later she disappeared into the crowd and was gone. Louise and I just looked at each other, both lost for words. As for the woman, she never came back. Not even to tell us the worst.
An anguished middle aged mother whose son was in hospital with leukemia had heard of the powers of amethyst. Healers used it to cleanse the blood she’d been told and wanted to buy a large piece from us. The best we had. The one on the table with the darkest crystals. Was it for sale? She couldn’t see any price tag. It was a last chance that might save him.
I saw the blood drain out of Louise’s face. I felt desperate. What was I to say to her? What would I be if I took her money and told her it would work? Told this desperate woman a despicable lie. What kind of people were we? Was I devoid of all decency and integrity? A man with no conscience! My mind raced. It wasn’t that simple. What if I told her the truth? Took away any hope she was clinging to. Christ sakes… who was I to play God?
She raised her head and looked at us, her eyes full of expectation. Was it for sale she repeated? It was I said, mechanically going over some science. Thinking it might somehow distract her. Put her off. Or maybe I only wanted to free myself of any guilt. Feel better if I gave her some facts.
“Amethyst’s just a quartz crystal,” I said. “Full of atoms of iron. That’s what gives it its colour. It starts off light purple but the more iron in it the darker it gets, and the older it is. The best stuff’s from Uruguay. The iron mineral in it is called haematite.”
“As in haematic,” she said strongly. “Any medicine acting on blood.”
She must have picked that up from the hospital.
“The mineral just gives it the colour,” I responded neutrally. “Nothing more…”
Her silence gave me some hope. That ought to do it I thought, badly wanting her to understand without having to be too direct.
“Well how much is it?”
I looked at Louise. It just wasn’t working. She still wanted the piece and we both knew I just couldn’t sell it. It would only further any illusion. Give substance to what we both knew was a lie.
“But you believe it can heal, don’t you?” she said. “You really do believe that it heals?”
There was a tremble in her voice now. She was asking directly and I just didn’t have the heart to tell her a lie, or the heart to tell her the truth.
Truth and lies… Lies and the truth… And here was I facing this woman. My heart in one place and my conscience in another. I just had to do something. Find a way out.
I picked up the piece from the table and again looked at Louise. She nodded. Knew exactly what I was thinking. “I’m not really sure I can answer your question,” I said firmly. “What I do know is that I’d just like to help, so please, please take this from us as a gift. It’s what we both want you to do. And please let us pray for your son. You’ll always be in our thoughts.”
“Bless you, bless you both,” she cried, taking my hand. Smiling at Louise who was getting quite tearful. “You’re both really good people.”
I wrapped the amethyst in my best piece of tissue and put it in my best box. “Bless you too mother,” I murmured, handing it to her. “And come and tell us how your son’s doing if you’re here again on a Sunday.”
Minutes later she disappeared into the crowd and was gone. Louise and I just looked at each other, both lost for words. As for the woman, she never came back. Not even to tell us the worst.
